Be skeptical, consult with self-improvement charlatans, then ignore them.
Be original; stop quoting from The Art of War.
Be assertive; practice decision-making by swallowing gum.
Be realistic; life is not a bowl of cherries.
Practice moderation; you can share thirty-six-ounce steaks.
Become a connoisseur; try espresso in Italy; for Brie, go to France.
Build confidence; sign up for a week at a nudist camp.
Exercise, grate daikons, carrots and beats.
Watch your health; eat the daikons, carrots, and beats.
Build self-esteem, dream big, but wake up ready to face reality.
Empathy works against you when surrounded by assholes.
There is no need to keep your enemies closer.
Balance is everything; children increase entropy and joy.
Accept facts: you cannot bend a fluorescent tube.
If you said, “What is done is done,” you wasted time.
The previous sentence is in the past.
There is nothing in the present, so don’t spend time there.
The future is at the end of this sentence.
When all else fails, embrace imperfection.